This year I will seek help from...

I've alluded to this previously, but I intend to seek help my fitness instructor regarding a healthy diet. I belonged to Weight Watchers in the past and I know about portion control and calculating fat vs. fiber vs. calories. But when it comes down to it, my healthy food knowledge and in particular, my knowledge about how to fix that healthy food, is pretty limited. What I especially need advice about are some healthy, easy-to-prepare meals that are quick to throw together at the end of a work day. I've got breakfast and lunch pretty well covered. Where I falter is at dinner time, when I arrive home already starving and I start snacking on whatever is available before I've even decided on what I'm going to make for dinner.

One hurdle I need to get over is to reconcile how my husband prefers to eat with how I want to eat. He's notorious for going to Sam's Club and buying things like a super huge bag of M&Ms, then handily leaving it out on the counter to taunt me every time I walk into the kitchen. There's one of those bags happily residing in our kitchen now, alongside a colossal box of individually wrapped cinnamon rolls, also from Sam's Club. The rolls I can avoid pretty easily, but it sure is easy to just grab a handful of M&Ms every time I walk through the kitchen! I've suggested that he put them in a cupboard--even though I'll know where they are, out-of-sight/out-of-mind usually works for me. But somehow, they always get left out on the counter again. My husband is also a strict meat-and-potatoes kind of guy--no fruits or vegetables for him. In fact, no casseroles or noodles for him, either. So except for a few foods that we agree on and prepare together occasionally, we pretty much each do our own thing when it comes to meal preparation.

Life would sure be great if, like Oprah, I had my own personal chef to fix and prepare calorie-conscious, wholesome meals for me every night when I come home from work! But, alas, I'm my own personal chef and solely in charge of what I put in my mouth. So I think some further nutritional education is in order!

In 2012 I am going to...

Just as with getting back on the proverbial horse, in 2012 I'm going to get back on the ol' bike and ride again. This is no small task because ever since my bike/dog accident last June, there's nothing scarier to me than a snapping, snarling dog with teeth bared lunging toward me when I'm on my bike. However, I'm determined not to let the Georgia rednecks who permit their dogs to run wild stop me! I'll buy an ultrasonic whistle and if that doesn't work, I'll find something else to try until I find a solution.

Frankly, I've had it up to my eyeballs with the situation. No more Mrs. Nice Guy--the next dog that does me harm, I'll take the owners to court. It seems to be the only thing that might get their attention. I was nice letting the guy whose dog bit me make payments for my medical bills. He quit sending me the money halfway through. The second guy with the dog who put me in the hospital got off scot-free. He was living in a hotel room and handily vanished after the accident. Maybe with any luck there won't be a third time although I have to say, I do appear to be a dog magnet!

I missed going on my week-long ride to Oklahoma in 2011 due to my June accident, but I did do a 3-day weekend ride In Columbus, Georgia last October.  So I've had some post-accident riding experience, but it's been limited. I've only ridden in the area around my house (the real danger zone) once since last June. I truly have to gear up mentally, talk myself into it, and get over the fear. I can't postpone because fear feeds on itself, and it will only get harder and harder to start again. The police officer who investigated the biting incident told me not to let it stop me from riding, and I intend to keep following his advice.

So once the weather gets a little warmer, I'll don my Spandex and pedal into the wild blue yonder once again, heart racing and palms sweating. But I know it will get easier each time I ride, and I'll find a way to build my confidence again.

Choose a word that will represent 2012 for you. Now write about it.

I was trying to come up with a magical, all-encompassing word and I finally settled on gratitude. I think it requires practice in order to make feelings of gratitude a habit. It definitely isn't always my first thought in any given situation, particularly in negative ones.

But gratitude actually has a ton of benefits. It's a positivity magnet, allowing me to see the glass as half full; to find the silver lining. It's a mood lifter that can bring me up when I'm feeling down. Gratitude allows me to extract more out of life; to value each day and make the most of it. Of course, by increasing positivity, gratitude cuts down on negativity. It leaves no room for those deadly qualities of envy, greed, and comparison.

Expressing gratitude can undoubtedly improve relationships. I'm talking about going beyond the social convention of the polite "thank you" that I learned as a child (although that's important too) and really telling someone how much I appreciate them for their contributions, their talents and their actions--and just for being THEM.  It promotes feelings of mutual cooperation and support besides making a huge difference in their day... and mine.

Once I'm focusing on what I have rather than what I don't have, and what's going right for me rather than what's wrong, I'll be able to move beyond myself more often. It's at this point that gratitude fosters generosity and benevolence. Charity and volunteering are activities I value and always want to do more often.

When I think about gratitude in these terms, it's a practice that's equally as beneficial to the person expressing it as the recipient. Perhaps moreso. Gratitude is definitely a habit I'd like to cultivate in 2012.

"The world is so great and rich, and life so full of variety, that you can never lack occasions for poems." ~ J.W. Goethe As you cross the threshold into 2012, write a poem that captures all that you hope for in the year to come.

Well, is a limerick considered a poem? I was never good at capturing the abstract quality of poems. I much prefer the in-your-face playfulness of limericks. So here's mine for 2012:

Thoughts on 2012

Twenty twelve's a new year,
I start with a clean slate.
But I've got lots of plans
That will fill up my plate.

More creativity,
Less mundane chores.
Seize opportunities,
Open closed doors.

Dote on the baby,
Be a better friend.
See all my projects
Through till the end.

Read lots of books,
Write in my daily blog.
Record the emotions
That memories jog.

Strengthen my body,
Pedal miles on my bike.
Continue dance lessons,
And go take a hike.

Declutter, simplify,
Recycle, reuse.
Weed out the people
Who shorten my fuse!

Volunteer, donate,
Give to charity.
Add several more branches
To my family tree.

Eat less processed sugars,
More veggies and fruits.
Cover the gray
That appears at my roots.

Stifle the critic
That lives in my head.
Express gratitude
For my blessings instead.

Plan to retire,
Leave working behind.
It's fun to daydream
As I keep up the grind.

Who am I kidding?
This list causes strife.
My New Year's resolution?
To enjoy my good life!

#12) Take care of your body. How do you take care of your body?

I usually do pretty well at this. Although right now I have a massive cold that I sure didn't see coming! In hindsight, I need to add some more Vitamin C to the diet!

I wasn't always as mindful of my health as I am now, but I don't smoke, I don't drink excessively, and I don't do drugs. I wear a seatbelt in the car and I know how to lift safely, with my legs rather than my back. I spend a lot of time at the gym, usually going four to five days at week on my lunch hour. I take 45 minute classes ranging from body sculpting to Zumba to aerobics workouts. One of my instructors recommended a surging routine which I've done several times over Christmas break. It involves doing 3 sets of 10 on a weight machine, then spending a minute doing an aerobics activity at full speed (jump roping, stationery bike, running the track), then 3 sets of 10 on a different weight machine, and another minute of aerobics activity. I like this sort of routine because you can fit a lot into a short amount of time and it doesn't get monotonous. I'm also fairly active when I'm at home; I do a lot of yard work and when the weather is nice I cycle. I've written before about my week-long cycling vacations.

My diet could use some help, however. I'm well aware that I can't exercise away a bad diet. I'm mindful of the foods I'm putting in my body, how much fat or calories certain foods have, and portion controls. But that doesn't mean that I always stop when I should-- especially over the holidays. Part of the problem is that I'm not very well educated on healthy foods that are easy to prepare. One of my exercise instructors is a body builder who really watches what she eats, but she's also the mother of three children so she cooks for a family. I'd love to see her menus for a few weeks as well as getting cooking instructions on how to prepare the foods she eats. I've decided to ask her if she'll share some ideas. This is an aspect of my health that I still really need to work on.

Overall I think I'm in better-than-average shape for a 58-year-old woman. And if I can get a good diet under control, I'll be doing great!

#11) Practice spirituality. Do you have a spiritual practice? And, if so, what form does it take?

You're looking at it. Writing is becoming my form of meditation. One thing I miss dearly in my life is having a family home to return to. A place where I can go to seek comfort, lick my wounds, and re-energize before I enter the real world again. I'm so envious of people who have a physical space like this in their life. But as I sit here and think about it, writing has allowed me to experience those feelings again--it provides a place where I can continually come home.

I've always been uncomfortable in open group meditations--even in yoga classes. I can't stand the group quiet... I'm always afraid I'll cough, sneeze or worse, fart and disrupt the entire proceeding. :)  I feel self-conscious, as though every eye is upon me, even though I know that's ridiculous. Maybe these feelings are part of my aversion to organized religion as well. I'm just not at ease in group practices of spirituality, yet I'm almost always at ease when I write.

Writing helps me to be grounded in the moment. It forces me to pay attention and be thorough; to go beyond the obvious surface observations and to become aware and sharply mindful of the details. In this way, it's like an invaluable teacher or mentor to me. Writing is also my therapist. It allows me to examine my pain and to honor the existence of intense feelings. At its best, it helps me to find clarity. Writing forces me to re-examine what I thought was the truth, and perhaps discover that I was wrong by uncovering a different truth.

When I begin to write, I feel as if I'm starting off on an adventure. I start with an empty page and set out for the unknown, exploring and expressing something new. I read somewhere that your mind needs to be naked to be truly creative, and that's the hard part--emptying my mind of expectations, preformed ideas and preoccupations. Getting out of my own way. Turning off the critic in my head and going with the uncensored flow of my thoughts.

I'm still working on getting better at it. It isn't easy and it takes a lot of practice... and time. But I'm finding that the end result is definitely worth it.

#10) Commit to your goals. What goal are you wholeheartedly dedicated to accomplishing?

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm repeating something I've said before--I'm wholeheartedly committed to paying off our debt. I'm talking about the credit card debt, not the house and the cars, which I look at as ongoing, long-term debt. I was doing pretty well in this endeavor until Christmas came along. Then I took the extra money I was throwing at the credit card companies every month and began putting it toward Christmas. I started making minumum payments again, which get us nowhere fast.

But it's time to get back on track now. I'll keep chipping away at that mountain, which has actually developed over the years into a mountain range. The mountains that resulted from a couple years of unemployment, and from 10+ years of being underpaid and getting lost somewhere in the 99%. The mountains that became a little higher after two open heart surgeries and large pharmacy bills with inadequate insurance. Those mountain peaks that developed when, I admit it, we sometimes allowed ourselves to live slightly beyond our means even though that certainly did not mean extravagance by any stretch of the imagination. We permitted ourselves indulgences and treats along the way, something I certainly will never regret.

The carrot that dangles before me is just imagining how freeing it will feel to be clear of that debt! To have that large sum of money spent on bills every month to use at our discretion. Not to worry about where the money is coming from when a major appliance breaks, a car needs repair, or an emergency comes up. To make those long-planned-for home improvements and to take those dreamed-about trips. It all seems a long way off right now, but with our noses to the grindstone I have faith that our perseverance will pay off in the long run.