#2) Cultivate optimism. Write about a trying situation and find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.

Dealing with my mother, now 89 years old, has become a very trying situation. For awhile now she's been exhibiting signs of underlying dementia; her recent stay in the hospital has brought those symptoms more to the forefront than ever. It seems that a change in her environment and circumstances really knocks her for a loop, and for two weeks she was in the hospital and then in an assisted care situation before she could return to her familiar apartment.

Conversations with my mother are very tedious and frustrating, as she will repeat the same things three or more times. Her brain seems to work a lot more slowly than it used to, so she has trouble keeping up with the flow of a conversation and asks people to backtrack and reiterate quite frequently. She will forget who we are talking about halfway through the conversation. She's also forgotten what a lot of common words and phrases mean. The other day she asked me what a "sweet roll" is and she also asked Julie about the meaning of a "museum."  I'm sure that being both blind and hard of hearing contributes to a lot of these problems as well.

My mother also attaches a sense of urgency to every request she makes; i.e., she would prefer that I drop whatever I'm doing and do simple tasks for her NOW rather than later. This morning when I stopped by her apartment to dole out her medicine, she practically insisted that I go right at that moment to the office to check the lost and found for a black sweater that's turned up missing. I explained to her that I absolutely had to get to work and would call the office later. I could tell she wasn't happy with my answer. I've slowly learned the art of telling her "no" which is frequently very hard to do.

I often try to apply a sense of humor to the situation to keep myself positive. Sometimes I'm more successful at accomplishing this than other times! But here's a conversation that I had with my mother yesterday, and I managed to get a kick and a smile out of it:

Mom:  Have you heard from Edward Erwin recently?

(Now let me say here that a) I have no idea who Edward Erwin is; and b) I've been talking to a lady at work whose mother has Alzheimer's and she always tells me it's important not to correct them on anything or to go into any detail, to just let things ride.)

So keeping that in mind, I say:  No. I haven't, Mom.

Mom:  When's the last time you heard from him?

Me:  (Busted!)  Well, actually I've never heard from Edward Erwin, mom. I wouldn't know him if I passed him on the street.

Mom:  (looks astonished)  Really? You don't know Edward Erwin?

Me:  Nope.

Mom:  Are you sure about that?

Me:  Yep.

Mom:  Well, I'm positive you must know him. You just don't remember.

Me:  (smile)

Never a dull moment!