For the most part, I truly don't feel as though I've let this happen. I fought against my mother's skepticism and negativity when I worked in the national parks during my college summers. I ventured out on my own to live in Colorado and left my family even further behind when I went to California. When I became pregnant with Michelle as a single woman, I opted to follow my heart and give birth to her no matter what my parents' expectations were. When my husband and I were young parents, we moved 60 miles away from Los Angeles and when I couldn't find a decent job in our new location, I managed to wangle a part-time consultant position with my old company so that I could stay employed. And when times got tough and my husband and I both lost our jobs in California, we left everything that was comfortable and familiar behind us and moved to a different part of the country, despite plenty of people telling us they thought we were making a mistake.
In making all these decisions, I feel that I remained true to myself for most of my life. But I can recall one time when I acquiesced and gave up my plans to go along with others' expectations. I always liked to write, and when I was in high school I decided I wanted to major in journalism in college. I did some research and discovered that the University of Missouri had a top-notch and highly-recognized journalism school. My family was traveling to New Mexico for a summer vacation, and I talked my parents into stopping in Columbia, Missouri and visiting the school. After a tour, I was impressed and decided that's where I wanted to go to college. I think my parents could probably have afforded the out-of-state tuition, but I also think it was more than what they had planned on paying for my college education, besides the fact that it was far away and my mother in particular found that disconcerting. My mom struck a deal with me. If I would go to a college in Michigan for the first two years, I could transfer to the University of Missouri in my junior year if I still wanted to go there. What could I say? My parents were paying for my college education and I could tell that's what they wanted me to do.
Well, after two years at Michigan State I had made friends there, I had a boyfriend, and the last thing I wanted to do was to transfer out of state. I loved MSU and wouldn't have given up those four years for anything, but Michigan State's journalism classes were disappointing, and I floundered around deciding on a major, finally settling on psychology and never really using my degree in any kind of a job.
It blows my mind to think about what might have happened if I had insisted on going to school in Missouri and my parents had eventually given in. Would I have liked it there? I might have had an entirely different career. I would never have met many of the people in my life who are so important to me. Following that line of thinking, I wouldn't have known Sue and might never have moved to California or met my husband. Our daughters Michelle and Julie wouldn't exist. I might be living in Kansas City, working for the local newspaper, with three sons rather than daughters!
It's mind-boggling to think about how that one decision completely changed the outcome of my life. But I'm a true believer that things happen for a reason, and I'm 100% sure that I have no regrets and I'm happy with my life the way it is.
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