"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined." ~ Johnny Carson In what way (or not) does your work reflect who you are?

I know I’ve written several times about my job. Actually, disregarding the inadequate pay, the job itself suits my talents and reflects my personality. If someone had told me several years ago that I would end up working in a university library, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. If I could pick up my individual job and move it to a different locale, I could see myself being quite content with it.

I love the atmosphere of working on a university campus, and I enjoy reading, writing and researching, so being in a library environment is comfortable for me. My job gives me the opportunity to write on occasion and to edit—both things I like to do that satisfy a creative outlet. I’m also given the challenge of  figuring out the best way to organize materials and make them accessible either physically or via the internet to patrons.  I have the opportunity to sometimes deal with rare and valuable papers of high interest—I once organized and set up a finding aid for the papers of Judge Griffin Bell, who was the Attorney General when President Carter was in office. Among other things, there were letters from John F. Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy in the collection. There’s enough variety in what I do so that if I get tired of one thing, I can move on to another for awhile.

My main objection about my job is that I feel I don’t have the freedom to be myself personality-wise. It’s a hard thing to put my finger on, but lots of times I feel I’m too irreverent, upsetting the Southern Baptist sensibilities of many of the people around me and most certainly the management. I get the feeling that people are often looking at me like I have three heads or something, as if I’m an alien from another planet. I can think of several examples over the years.

Early on when I first started, I was working alongside the secretary to the dean on a project and I had absentmindedly misplaced a paper.  I offhandedly remarked that “I must be hallucinating, I could swear I just had that paper in my hand.”  She gave me a startled look and quickly “shushed” me, telling me I shouldn’t be making drug references around the students.  I should have informed her that it’s entirely possible to hallucinate without the help of drugs! But I was so flabbergasted, I just let it go.

Another time, I was wearing my leopard print shoes to work and my boss remarked, “You must have thought a long time before you bought those shoes.”  This was her not-so-subtle way of letting me know she disapproved of my shoes! I told her that no, I actually liked them right away! She’s the same person who almost fell through the floor when I told her we danced at my daughter’s wedding.  With an incredulous look on her face, she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where there was dancing!”

At this year’s Christmas party, we were all sitting in a group eating as Christmas music played. The song “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” by Annie Lennox came on, and I remarked how much I liked the song. The dean said, “You know, I just wish the radio stations would play the traditional Christmas carols. I get so tired of hearing this secular Christmas music.”  Shot down! Apparently, only Christmas music with a religious message has any value to her.

I could go on and on, but I’m sure I’ve made my point. I’d be so much happier and at ease in an environment where I felt I could be myself without scrutiny and judgment.