How important to you is “respect”?

The first thing that comes to mind is that great dance song by Aretha Franklin—”R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me….”  I have to say, respect is not something I think about too much and it’s a word I rarely use, probably because I’ve been lucky enough in life never to truly have felt DISRESPECT.

But when it comes down to it, I feel that everyone is born with the right to be respected. If that respect isn’t realized, it can cause self-esteem to plummet and severe emotional problems to develop down the road. I think a lot of people’s deep-seated problems can probably be traced to a deprivation of respect, especially when that respect is lacking from parents, other family members, perceived friends, or loved ones. Spousal abuse and child abuse stem from a lack of respect. So does bullying. Some suicides undoubtedly stem from a lack of respect. I've seen firsthand the impact of disrespect/abuse on a friend of 50+ years, as she struggles daily with self-esteem issues.

Confucius say (at least I think it was Confucius) that if you respect yourself, others will learn to respect you.  If you stand tall and are proud of yourself, your values, opinions and finally your actions will reflect that self-respect.

So what about career criminals, or the abusers and bullies in life? Yes, they are hard people to respect. And by their actions, they’ve lost their rights to many privileges that the rest of us take for granted. But if Confucius is right, it’s clear that these are people with no self-respect. Despite their choices, they should still be afforded the courtesy of a basic respect for their human rights. If that’s taken away, where does that leave the rest of us? It perpetuates an unending cycle, similar to the cycle of abuse that appears in families for generation after generation.

And, yep, I'm still humming Aretha's tune.