"If a man is proud of his wealth, he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it." ~ Socrates How do you spend your money?

This is a touchy subject in the Tingley household for sure.

I was raised by a mother who’s the queen of frugal. Having lived during the Depression, she prizes saving money above all else. It’s not saving to buy things, it’s just the act of saving itself that makes her happy. When we were kids we couldn’t buy summer memberships at the neighborhood pool despite the fact that our friends had joined. We weren’t even allowed to buy ice cream from the truck that circled the neighborhood on summer evenings because “the ice cream in the freezer is less expensive.” The embarrassing red Chrysler that my mother drove way past its prime was dubbed the “cherry bomb” by our friends. Granted, we were certainly never lacking when it came to the things that really mattered. My brother and I watched mom put a good bit of cash into our piggy banks every Sunday, which was earmarked for our college educations. When the banks got full, the money was deposited into accounts and she started over again. Due to all her saving, my parents not only managed to retire early but to travel and truly enjoy their retirement years. But, bless her heart, I have to wonder how much she really enjoyed life during all those in-between years of deprivation.

Given these childhood influences, my own pitiful lack of saving through the years undoubtedly stems from a little bit of rebellion.  But in my defense, our financial security has also gone through lots of ups and downs over the span of our 25-year marriage. My husband has had two long bouts of unemployment after layoffs, coupled with two lengthy periods of disability due to heart surgeries. I had one year of unemployment when we moved to Georgia, and two short periods of no pay when my dad died and after a recent bike accident.  During these events, we’ve raised two daughters and contributed what we could to my stepdaughter’s life. Add a large pile of medical bills and prescriptions, a daughter in college, and a recent wedding into the mix, and you have a recipe for financial strife.

If it weren’t for credit cards, I don’t know what we would have done during those lean times. Unfortunately, we’re still paying the debts we’ve accumulated, and an embarrassing percentage of our income goes to paying bills. I’ve become very adept at robbing Peter to pay Paul, and my husband tells people I have the uncanny ability to pull rabbits out of hats. Admittedly, I probably could have paid the bills off a little earlier, but unlike my mother, I’ve chosen the “live a little” philosophy.

As with many couples, my husband and I view spending money in different ways, which has often been a source of conflict. Cash burns a hole in his pocket and he can spend a fortune on tools, car and motorcycle parts when given the opportunity. He’s voluntarily given up all his credit cards because he knows he’s dangerous with them.  I can generally avoid the temptation to spend too much money on things, although occasionally I’ll deliberately treat myself. And there are certain causes that I feel strongly about and contribute to every year without fail. But where I can’t seem to skimp is on vacations, weekends away, and other excursions. I admit, I’m a sucker for a fun adventure and will go whether we actually have the cash in hand or not. And I’m downright extravagant on Christmas and birthdays, especially when it comes to our daughters.

It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve been pretty diligent about paying our debts and I’m excited to say that we’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  According to “the plan,” our retirement years should be measurably easier than the rough road along the way.