Choose a milestone in your life (birth, wedding, funeral, etc.) and identify the most important moment from that event. Now slow down time and write about that moment in specific detail.

The day Rich and I were married, August 9, 1986, was a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Not a cloud was in the sky. Our wedding took place in the fenced-in backyard of our rental house in Hawthorne as about 30 of our closest friends and relatives looked on. We stood facing each other in front of the minister, under a white iron arch intertwined with pink roses, white spider mums and white carnations. I was wearing a sheath dress with a white peplum top and a pink skirt. I wore the pink quartz necklace and earrings that Rich had given me for Christmas. Rich was in a light gray suit with a pink shirt and a gray, black, and pink striped tie. Rich's best man was his friend Ed, my best friend Sue was my maid of honor, and Rich's 5-year-old daughter Brianna served as our flower girl. We held flowers of the same varieties that decorated the arch.

I don't remember anymore exactly how we chose the minister. Since neither Rich nor I were members of a church, I literally may have picked him out of a phone book. It just didn't seem to be a very critical decision for me at the time. We were having a small, informal wedding and all we cared about was that he or she was a licensed officiant. I do know that he didn't meet with us ahead of time and he knew nothing about us personally. I don't think I was aware that he was a Baptist minister until a few moments before the ceremony began.

As he started speaking, I realized that perhaps we should have given a little more thought to the minister selection process. And as he warmed up, his sermon took on more and more of a "fire and brimstone" flavor. My "chauvinist radar" went up when he spoke of the need for the wife to be faithful to her husband. I detected a nuance that the woman is subservient and found myself wondering why the man doesn't need to be faithful as well? The mninister also employed the phrases "the two become one" and "forsaking all others," words which, in my mind, seemed to diminish the importance of a partnership between two distinct individuals.

As the sermon went on, Brianna showed signs of boredom as she began swinging her flower basket, and I was cognizant of the fact that the high heels on the women were probably sinking into the grass as mine were doing. Rich's nerves were starting to take over and his lips were visibly twitching. Just about that time, I noticed the young boy from next door poking his head over the fence to see what was going on. I was reminded of the "Kilroy was here" caricature. His unabashed curiosity lent a slice of Americana with a dollop of Dennis the Menace to the seriousness of the moment. I managed to suppress a chuckle, but I just had to smile. That young boy provided comic relief for me at just the right instant. Whenever I think of our wedding, I will always recall the humorous sight of that inquisitive, freckle-faced boy with a sprig of hair standing straight up peering over the fence.