It's official. As I stared into my closet this morning trying to decide what to wear, I confirmed to myself once again that I have TOO MANY CLOTHES. My closet is jammed full of items that haven't been worn in years. It's ridiculous. I'm one of those people that has a terrible time trying to discard clothing. My identity seems to be tied up in my wardrobe.
There are several items that conjure up cherished memories and carry such emotional significance that I can't bear to part with them. Like the dress I wore when I married Rich in 1986. It has shoulder pads, for God's sake! Also falling into this category is a long, flowered semi-backless dress. I have a picture of Michelle and I when she was in the 4th grade and I was wearing this dress. It was Award Day and she's grinning, proudly showing off her certificate for receiving all A's. During her "difficult teenage years" I made a copy of this photo and framed it for her; my hope was to remind her of the days when school was important to her and she was proud of her accomplishments. Michelle is 25 now; that dress is 16 years old!
I've hung onto several items that I wore when I was 15 pounds lighter, and of course I keep them thinking that maybe I'll shed the weight and actually wear them again. There's a 2-piece black velvet outfit that I wore once to a fancy Christmas party when I used to work for Contel. It has sparkly buttons down the front and a black lace insert in the back. I got lots of compliments on it, but the skirt is quite short and I know I'd never have the nerve to wear it again! Another short denim dress with spaghetti straps hangs next to it. I wore it once in New Orleans. Ah, the days of being young and skinny!
On the other hand, there are some outfits that I bought when I was 15 pounds heavier. Like the long black and white flowy sleeveless dress that I wore to my dad's memorial service with a black shawl. And the long rust/brown batik dress I wore to my aunt and uncle's 50th anniversay party during the same timeframe. I loved that batik dress and attempted to have it altered when I lost weight. It never fit quit as well after the alterations, but still I stubbornly hang onto it. Stacy and Clinton tell us to dress for the size we are now and get rid of the other stuff.... but who can really afford to completely re-do their wardrobe when they gain or lose a few pounds?
Then there are the omnipresent "mistake" purchases. Hanging in my closet is a pair of taupe dress pants with a soft pumpkin collarless jacket. I purchased them several years ago, adhering to the adage that "every woman needs to own a suit." It's outdated now and never adorned my body. A couple years ago I finally got rid of a fuzzy pink v-neck sweater that still actually had the tags on it. I bought it years ago in the garment district of L.A., got it home and immediately decided I didn't like it after all. But still I hung onto it for many moons, even moving it to Georgia with me. Go figure.
I used to maintain "jean equilibrium," meaning that when I finally discarded a pair of jeans from my wardrobe, I bought a new pair to take their place. Somewhere along the way, I stopped that practice. I'm down to only two pairs of jeans now. Instead, I switched from jeans to black pants and then allowed it to get wildly out of control; i.e. black pants equilibrium on steroids. The number of black pants I own is obscene, but many are too short, too long, too tight, or too loose. Out of probably 15 pairs, I really only wear about three pairs repeatedly!
When I cut to the chase, I guess I basically have the fear that my wardrobe will look downright skimpy after getting rid of everything that I just plain don't wear. And it probably would. In actuality, I wear the same dozen outfits over and over again. But somehow, it's psychologically comforting to see a closet full of clothes and feel that I have plenty of choices, even though that really isn't the case. I have a huge wardrobe at my fingertips in my imaginary world!
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